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Your Relationship with Money

By Tara Conti, CFP®

Every aspect of our life is influenced by money –

where we live, the food we eat, our job, our house, the clothes we wear, the work we do, the gifts we give, our friends, even our spouses and the number of children we have, are all affected by money and how we view it.

So, do you have a healthy happy relationship with money?

Try thinking of your relationship with money like a personal relationship. 

What are the keys to success in your happy and healthy personal relationships?  Now apply these concepts to your relationship with money.  Some of the keys to success that I apply to both my personal and financial relationships are:

Respect

Treat money with respect.  Just like any person, it wants to and needs to be treated with respect. Yes, money is important and powerful.  Recognize that.  Now balance that with the fact that it does not define who you are.  Money cannot change what your values are, your talents, and what you care about. 

A good relationship enhances who you are and brings out the best in you. 

Money is similar, it is a tool that allows you to be, do and have MORE of what you want.  It should also enhance your life and highlight your passions, talents and values. 

Understanding

It is always helpful in a relationship with another person to understand where they come from and what they are thinking.  You need to communicate with the other person.  The more you understand about money and your money situation the more power you have to make wise, respectful and sympathetic decisions. 

You are empowering yourself if you come from a place of knowledge instead of a place of unknowing and fear with regards to your money.  This communication and connection will enhance your relationship.   

I want to stress that you do not need to know everything.  I recommend that you surround yourself with people and financial advisors you trust and who can help provide the knowledge you need. 

Educating yourself also contributes to your understanding.  Continue to learn and ask questions about your finances to help improve your relationship with money and build your confidence.

Attention

Money (like people) LOVES and demands a level of attention.  Money will get your attention one way or another.  It can be positive or negative attention.  You get to choose. 

I like to think of this aspect as similar to a parent child relationship.  Your child will do things to get your attention, even if it is negative attention.  Money is the same way.  If you ignore your money relationship and avoid it, it will eventually require your attention. 

Just like scheduled date nights with your spouse, I recommend that you schedule time to regularly check in with your finances so you know where you stand.

There are other aspects of your relationship with money that I will discuss in future articles. 

Respect, understanding and attention are all concepts that are important in dealing with people.  They provide an initial guideline to assist you in improving your relationship with money.  Thinking of your personal relationships and how you want to be treated is an analogy and powerful example to apply in your relationship with money.  

Many people are uncomfortable in their relationship with money. 

Their best selves are not seen in their relationship with money.  If this is you, think about how you can change your view of money and your relationship with it. 

What actions can you take to change this? 

Having a healthy relationship with money has the power to change and affect every aspect of your life.

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